No denying that negative/difficult people do exist. But since people tend to find faults in others more often, it seems like who’s negative and who’s not’ is more of a matter of perspective. That means in order to fight off negative people, first we need to standardize their characteristics.
What’s a Negative Personality?
Everyone can slip-ff the track and fall into mind-process at times. We all are not masters of our mind yet, otherwise we wont’ be reading this, right?
But one thing that saves you from becoming an ill-being is your awareness that this is not what you have to be. This is just an off road for you, not the regular course of mind. So you tend to recover, sooner or later.
But negative people are those who have accepted the off-course track as their general state of mind, and have totally lost, and they don’t care anymore. Got absorbed with negative thoughts and emotions to an extent that they can’t identify being influenced by that, and adopt negativity as normal lifestyle. They unconsciously nurture their bad habits to build up pessimism, self-obsession, addictions, jealousy, aggression, violence, or abuse.
What Can You Do?
We gotta keep distance with such things and people if you can. That’s the thumb rule. But it is world and you are supposed to face everything and everybody.
Let’s talk about how to deal with such people yet keep our calm and stay positive. You might find a different take in this article since it is written keeping in mind to not only educate you about dealing with negative individuals but to deal with negativity overall.
1. Prepare Yourself to Counter Their Negativity
The first rule to counter a negative person is to not use any negative means in the cause. You cannot afford anger or hatred towards them without becoming negative. Getting yourself affected by negativity in quest to sort out a negative person has no point. You need a way to keep yourself unaffected in the cause.
Only light can dispense darkness. To dispense the darkness in someone, you have to fill yourself with enough positivity light. Train yourself to handle situations with joyfulness. Do yoga and meditation for greater efficiency and stability. Generate vibes of good thoughts. To get rid-off all the negativity outside, let go yours. Follow an inner engineering method that interests you.
2. Influence Negative People Positively
Dealing a situation with a negative person with a very positive intent is highly effective in keeping ourselves positive with them. That is when you can make them realize that there’s some better way to be than what they believe. Show them that all impossibilities should be ignored, and one should always focus on the possibilities that remain. Clarity of thoughts, enthusiasm to do things and a comfortable situation within you will inspire their subconscious to imitate.
Not wealth or weapons but Influencing power is regarded as the greatest on earth. Gautama Buddha changed the hearts of extremely hostile and miserable people with his compassion and absolute equanimity of mind. Once you have cultivated enough positivity and established yourself in an equanimous mind-set, only then you can take people out of their miseries. Try this but not without a compassionate and equanimous mind.
You’ll see a miracle happen. You’ll stop giving negative things much importance and start focusing to become a more stable, focused and powerful being. And as you’ll follow this practice more and more, you’ll be looking at lesser negatives and more positives. After all, the nature of things is determined our perception.
3. Abandon Them When Have To
If compassion doesn’t work for you at the moment, then you’ve got this. Suppose someone’s negativity towards you has developed to the extent of hostility, your friendly take isn’t working, and you’ve to do something about it. Best thing to do is Step back. It’s actually a great thing to do.
You may be capable of giving a fitting reply. You are also not a coward. But let’s face it, your modesty doesn’t allow you to go to that extent that requires you to generate negativity of some kind within. Also understand that life is too short to spend time teaching lessons. It is the work of a repair mechanic to fix the malfunctioning parts, but an engineer will strive to create something better. Have bigger goals.
Create boundaries, cut-off dependencies on them if any, find better alternatives of places or situations where you have to be with them, abandon the competition they are having with you, and most importantly stop giving them a place in your thoughts. The world is too big and you can have better arrangements for yourself.
Krishna is one of the most revered historical figures in India who is also called ‘Ranchordas’ meaning ‘the one who left from the battlefield.’ He chose not to waste his people and wealth fighting a mad bully neighbor king. He shifted his kingdom and people to elsewhere instead. Later, he happens to address the inevitable questions of life in ‘Bhagvad Gita’. That was his prophesy to fulfill.
But abandoning things for the sake of peace is not always a possibility. You can’t leave a job, an awesome friend circle, or relatives because of someone. Sometimes you just have to be with them at places. They just don’t go away, and try to impose themselves and intimidate you. Such people are a real challenge and the formula to handle them is up next…
4. Learn the Art of Not Reacting
Basically egoism or extreme self-importance is the root problem of a negative person. That’s why they have biased perceptions. They are going to accomplish nothing significant with a selfish approach. Whether they are being heard or not doesn’t make difference to the world. You can simply choose not to be serious towards them.
How much you should ignore them is totally up to circumstances. Give an adequate response, one-liners, one word, or no response at all. Sometimes the best reaction is no reaction at all. Negative Boss – adequate response, someone intimidates you to have an unnecessary argument – no response. Ignorance is bliss!
Whatever response you give that’s up to you, but do not react. There is a difference between reacting and responding. Reacting means that your mind got affected, while response means you performed the required action without subscribing to the mental aspects. Again, developing positivity and equanimity helps you master the art of responding but not reacting.
5. Let them Learn the Hard Way
There exist individuals with a very misguided perspective of life. They can harass others for their obscure motives or just some weird psychological relief. This method applies to the type of negative people that have turned hostile towards you. You tried every possible way to have a peace settlement, but someone is after an everlasting quest to throw negativity at you. When you realize it’s time for that inevitable justice, do not hold back. Because if you don’t get a solution, the problem stays in your mind and the defense mechanism in your subconscious might get you filled with negativity and hatred towards that person.
Cases of harassments, exploitation, and abuse, are examples that some individuals are extremely declined of rightfulness. They can be punished or scared of consequences, but can’t be made better. See that it is necessary to neutralize the aggressor who’s crossing the limit. Even if you still have a soft corner for them, let them learn a lesson, for their own betterment. Report them so they get a forced counseling, so they realize that their unacceptable acts won’t be accepted.
It’s true that people commit immoral acts out of their nescience. It’s also right that we should have compassion towards them. But sometimes punishment is the most compassionate option to prevent someone from further harming others and causing fast-track self-destruction. This is what Krishna told Arjun before the battle when Arjun had put his bow down in quest to not fight and grieved that he will have to fight his loved ones standing in the opposite. Remember, it was them, not you, who chose the hard way.
So you have your five fundamentals to counter negative people; Have compassion towards them, inspire them, avoid contact with their negativity, don’t react to their negativity, and let them learn the hard way when nothing else works. Meanwhile, the most important part is to maintain peace within.
Pursuing these techniques not only promise you to keep all kinds of external negativity at bay but also enhance your awareness towards self-improvement. In that sense, now on wards negative person encounters will become useful for you to build a positive life. Awesome! – – – Keep In Touch – – –